


Not What You Want

by LivetoDream333 (orphan_account)



Series: Double-O Drabbles [8]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Q, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, Love, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Past Emotional Manipulation, Sweetness, Tenderness, starved for affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 05:25:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1539302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LivetoDream333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you trust me?”</p><p>“Yes.” James said without any hesitance. Q nodded and allowed James to take his hands. Q pulled him into a standing position, seeing just how tense he was, how high-strung he was with adrenalin and anger and pain.</p><p>“I can’t give you what you want, James…but I can give you what you need. You have to trust me, alright?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not What You Want

**Author's Note:**

> Umm... I tried? I don't know how accurate this is, but I tried. Hope it is at least a little convincing...

Not What You Want

 

Q stepped out of his office and his eyes met James, sitting on his sofa, mostly clean. His suit was ripped in a few places and there was a small splotch of blood on his forehead that he’d missed, some blood still under his fingernails. There were many things Q wanted to say: ‘The location of my flat is top secret, Bond.’ ‘Why here, Bond?’ ‘Why me, Bond.’ What came out was none of the above. “Are you alright, James?” James looked up at him at the use of the noun. Q never called him James. He shook his head, very slightly. “Stay right there, alright?” James nodded, his body twitching with adrenaline still, his eyes flickering around, looking at all the exits as if someone could break in at any moment.

Q walked past him and into the kitchen wetting a towel before coming back into the living room and kneeling in front of James, trying to look as small and non-threatening as possible. Easy to do when you are as slender as Q was. He slowly reached up and dabbed at James’ forehead, cleaning off the spot James had missed. “Are you hurt?”

“No.” James whispered, his voice broke over the syllable.

“May I clean your hands?”

“Not my right hand…” James warned him. He couldn’t deal with having it busy, just in case he needed to grab his gun quickly.

“Alright…” Q said gently, trying to clean James’ fingernails, gentle, tender. “Why here?”

“You’re safe.” James responded simply. He wasn’t just talking about physically safe, though the location did provide that. Q was safety for James, mental and emotional safety…protection from what he had to do, the distinction between 007 and James. He didn’t know why Q was that, but he had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with Q always being in his ear…and the unexplainable attraction and trust he had for the young boffin.

“You could have knocked.”

“You might have sent me away.”

“I wouldn’t have. Never, James.” Q promised, putting the damp towel on the side-table. “What do you want, James?”

“To get rid of this, all of it…” The two of them stared at each other for a moment before Q sighed heavily and stood up, holding out his hands to James. James lifted his hands but Q pulled his away.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” James said without any hesitance. Q nodded and allowed James to take his hands. Q pulled him into a standing position, seeing just how tense he was, how high-strung he was with adrenalin and anger and pain.

“I can’t give you what you want, James…but I can give you what you need. You have to trust me, alright?”

“Okay.” James nodded and allowed Q to move him towards his bedroom. Q stopped next to the bed and gently squeezed James’ hands.

“Just, let me do this, alright? Just relax.” Q smiled gently before he pulled of James’ jacket, gently. He pressed a gentle kiss to the base of James’ throat before he reached forward and grabbed the Walther on his left side. James’ hand snapped up to grab his wrist. They didn’t move for a moment and James slowly let go, allowing Q to disarm him. Q put the holstered gun down on his jacket before he un-tucked James’ shirt, taking his time to undo each button, peppering tender kisses over the exposed flesh and gently kneading some of the tense flesh before he slipped the shirt off of James’ shoulders. Q knelt down and untied each of his shoes, gently pulling them off, along with his socks.

James was…surprised. He wasn’t often…he was never at the end of tenderness. No one treated him so tenderly, so gently, so caringly. It was a strange feeling, but not unwelcome. It wasn’t what he was used to after missions. Typically his after-mission decompression included a lot of drinking and a hard, fast fuck.

Q hadn’t even offered him a drink.

Q pulled off his belt and managed to take of James’ trousers before he stood up again, leading James toward the bed, pulling back the covers, putting James down in the center of the bed before stripping down to his pants quickly. “Lay on your preferred side.” Q requested. James’ eyebrows pulled together slightly and he rolled onto his side, surprised at how comfortable the bed was, and how nice it was to be able to take in Q’s scent all around him. He felt the bed dip behind him and felt Q’s chest press against his back.

James felt one of Q’s legs wrap around both of his, bending them slightly. He felt one of Q’s hands gently run through his hair, the other tracing patterns up his chest, tender, memorizing, worshiping his skin. He felt lips and warm breath moved over the back of his neck and shoulder. It was tender…almost too much, and surprisingly very non-sexual. James was surprised that it felt better than sex.

James felt surrounded by warmth and safety…and forgiveness. The gentle hand moving over his torso was loving and the hand in his hair was soothing. Unconsciously James felt his body begin to relax, his heart starting to slow. Q pressed a kiss against the shell of James’ ear.

“Go to sleep, James. I’ve got you. You’re safe.” Q whispered into his ear before pulling him closer, no room for a breath between them. James could feel the beat of Q’s heart against his back. Slow, steady, reassuring. “You did what you had to and I don’t blame you for that, James. It’s over now…you’re safe and home. Go to sleep, James.”

James wanted to reply, but he didn’t think he knew what to say. He closed his eyes and let his body grow heavy with sleep. It was surprisingly easy to fall asleep in Q’s arms…in his warm embrace.

Q continued to watch over James through most of the night, gently petting his hair and stroking his chest, peppering gentle kisses along James’ neck for a while before he succumbed to sleep.

800Q8

Q woke up first and was surprised that James was still in his arms, in the same manner they’d fallen asleep, completely surrounded by Q, nearly from head to toe. Q placed a gentle kiss to the back of James’ shoulder and relaxed, hoping not to wake the agent in his arms. He had wished for a chance to hold the man for a long time, and actually getting to hold him was wonderful. He gained the utmost pleasure knowing that he had managed to comfort the agent, to help him sleep when he had felt so terrible, without the use of anything destructive.

Ten minutes later James stirred and tensed for a brief moment before pressing closer to Q, content. “Are you hungry? I can make you breakfast.” Q said, starting to pull away, but James laced his fingers with the hand that Q had on his chest.

“Stay…please? I want to stay like this.”

“Of course, James.” Q promised, squeezing James’ hand and kissing James’ neck again, sleepy, warm kisses. They stayed there silently for a few moments.

“Thank you, Q.”

“No problem, James…”

“You said…you said you couldn’t give me what I wanted, what did you mean?” James wondered curiously after a moment.

“Your decompression usually entails sex and alcohol or pills… You would have wanted sex…but I can’t give you that. I could give you affection though and, really, that’s what you need. You think it is sex you crave, but it is love and affection you need.”

“Why can’t you...? I’m not trying to pressure you…it’s just that I’m curious. This is more than enough, as much as I hate to admit it.”

“I’m asexual, James…” Silence filled the air for a few moments.

“That explains a lot.”

“Yeah…” Q sighed, snuggling closer. “I’m not… _really_ repulsed by sex, not by some things anyway, but I just…don’t feel attracted to anything. Not an easy thing to tell people.”

“You’ve needed this too, haven’t you?”

“I have always loved this…affection, tenderness, simply being near someone else. I thrive on making other people feel safe and happy… I haven’t had this for a while though…no. Not many homoromantic asexuals in London. I’ve tried dating ‘normal’ people, but it doesn’t end well. Some get upset that they can’t _give_ me anything. Some are offended that I don’t _want_ them, but I do. I just want affection and cuddles and kissing and intimacy and…just someone I can be close to and trust. That to me is what I suppose sex is to everyone else. I made it clear to everyone that if they needed to go to someone else to…take care of their needs it would be alright, but they don’t take that well either. It’s just…difficult. There really is no winning.”

“So you had sex with me last night then?”

“For me? Yes…my equivalent at least. Not everyone’s cup of tea.”

“It was…what I needed… I didn’t even know I needed it.”

“Most people don’t, thinking that sex is affection…it’s not.”

“You’ve done it then…? I thought…” James said, confused.

“I have no problem giving my boyfriends a hand sometimes…or a mouth if that is what makes them happy…just nothing more. My last…he manipulated me, tried to convince me that it would make him happy if I…that’s the one thing that truly repulses me and he knew I had a soft spot for making people I love happy. I was naïve enough to think he loved me, but he was using me, trying to _fix_ me. It didn’t end well…”

“No one since?”

“Not since Uni…no… Eve tries to set me up, but she doesn’t know I’m…not really ‘normal’.”

“You haven’t trusted anyone else, have you?”

“No…”

“Then why me?”

“You already know the answer to that question. I suspect it’s the same reason why you snuck into my home.” Q sighed, pressing a kiss to James’ shoulder.

“I trust you.”

“And I trust you.” Q smiled against James’ shoulder.

“I’m attracted to you.” James added quietly.

“Me as well…just, romantically, though mathematically speaking you are rather attractive in your own right, that’s not what matters to me.”

“Is there any way to do this right?” James wondered.

“Do what right?” Q inquired. James rolled over and faced Q, both of them holding onto each other.

“Wine and dine you? Snuggle on the sofa? Make it so I can always come back to this?”

“James…I care about you a lot, but…you’re a very sexual being and I can’t…I don’t… It will wear on you, it does to everyone.”

“I’m not everyone… I want this to work. I’m sure it will be strange and full of bumps, but what good relationships isn’t?” James paused, pressing a kiss to Q’s lips gently. “Can we get dinner tonight?”

“You’d…you’d really want me?”

“Anything you’d be willing to give me.”

“Thai?”

“Sounds lovely.” James smiled. He gently reached up and ran his fingers through Q’s hair. Q practically purred and arched into James’ fingers.

James wasn’t the only one in the room starved for affection and love and he would do his best to make sure Q got it.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want anything written, send me ideas. I have a lot of time on my hands.  
> Much Love.


End file.
